Nellis AF base track.
1st sprint: 39.48 secs
*1 minute break in between*
2nd sprint: 42.63 secsIt’s a start.
Johnnie: “do you wanna go pick up Matt?”
Joey: “yeah sure… Does he know the signal?…
Clock is ticking. Let’s see how long tonight takes me.
Today was not inspirational. Today was bitter.
How long can I stare at a moving fan or count every chirp this cricket makes?
Am I distracted or do I need a distraction?
I’m so tired, my body hurts, someone knock me out.
15-16 hours of being awake so far.
Let’s see how long tonight will be.
I’ve been feeling suffocated. To see the world, to breathe in a new environment. I don’t think I could really stay put.
On another note: what would I give to write to my heart’s content. To explain these scattered thoughts. To clear the fog that occupies my mind.
Eh. An apology really doesn’t mean much but I really am sorry, dear…
For some reason I find myself rather lonely tonight. And as like everything else I always mention, it’s kind of bittersweet. It’s been so long since I’ve felt this way. So long since anything was like today. I felt like history came back around just to say hello and all I wanted to say was good bye. I’m uneasy, I’m so tired, I want to be left alone again. I don’t need to interact right now. I don’t need someone’s input on anything. I don’t need to hang out and try to put on a shitty smile. I don’t need to feel like clawing my eyes out because I’m with people I don’t want to be around. I’m fine with wasting my day in my bed watching movies I’ve watched a million times with my dog sleeping by my side. I’m fine with spending my day with the one person I only want to spend it with, but with no interruption. People make so much noise, it makes me miss the silence sometimes.
I kind of need you right now, dear. But then again, I’m doing fine without you. I wonder if that’s my pride and stubbornness speaking out or if I actually mean it.
And on a side note to everything, I’m pretty sure I’m just pmsing like a prick. But that still doesn’t disregard the fact that I’m feeling shit -_—-
Has tumblr seemed a bit childish lately? More so irrelevant to anything.
As the days pass, little parts of you open up. As if you trust me enough to show what made you the person you are today. It’s beautiful! Some dance videos and magic tricks? I’ve even fallen in love with your past. Slowly and surely, we’re learning.
You still wanna fly, love?
I was looking for someone who is capable of subsiding the storm or even making a volcano seem pretty when it’s burning you alive. And that’s my fault, it’s my fault for thinking that destruction was ever really beautiful. It’s my fault for thinking that covering a demon with flowers will fool the world, thinking it was made to create peace. It is my fault. But have you ever noticed? Within that madness, within the chaos, things are bound to get better. They aren’t beautiful, but they are beauty in progress. That’s my extremely gay and poetic way to remind myself of the situations I put myself in. “Because every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.” but because how bad have I made people suffer with my own destruction. But because right now, I’m still a sinner tryna get a future. Finding my right path. Better yet, clear the path that I’m already on. I keep doing the same shit, thinking it’s gonna make a difference. I keep forgetting, I keep fucking up, I forget to actually care and see where that has taken me? Alright, alright. Enough self pity, back to square one. Dumbass.
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